My Writing

We read a story called Thirst and had to re-write the ending. This is my work. I am trying to show not tell.

Thirst - Alternative Ending

By Ezra

Dad Shouted once more . His voice rumbled through the trees ,scattering the birds that had been perched at the cans quenching their thirst. Ryder could hear his dad yelling out his name ,he could see his shadow coming straight towards him. The more his dad got closer the more He was covered in fear.His dad went right up to his face and angrily asked”where did you get that water from? “ Ryder fell to his knees with tears coming out of his eyes and cried out ” I’m sorry , I stole the water,“ his dad had a face of disappointment and replied”well,now we got to replace that water“. They snuck to the tank crunching the dried up grass with their feet. They replaced all the water that Ryder stole and ran back to their house. “I’m sorry for stealing the water,” Ryder said, “ dont do it again,“dad replied “ok,”